Principle-Based Love: We’ve Got It All Wrong
We’ve got it all wrong.
We get married so we can feel loved,
demand physical intimacy so we can feel loved,
go to church so we can feel accepted and loved,
and lower our standards to avoid standing out from the crowd so we can feel accepted and loved.
And on and on and on.
But when marriage becomes hard and when physical intimacy becomes challenging (which it inevitably will),
and when church feels uncomfortable, due to topics like repentance, and individuals who offend (which it inevitably will),
and when life still feels lonely at times, even when we’ve lowered our standards to fit in with the crowd (which it inevitably will),
we are left feeling empty, frustrated, and confused.
Why?
Because we’ve got it all wrong.
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Principle-Based Love
We’ve convinced ourselves that love is a feeling when, in fact, it is a principle-based action.
One who recognizes love as a principle-based action instead of a feeling will:
- fill themselves with godly love before they get married, and then get married so they can share that love with someone else. Love’s focus is on giving, not taking.
- continue to work hard each day to fill themselves up with godly love so that they can share that love with others by connecting physically and emotionally in sacred acts of intimacy. Healthy intimacy cannot be had by those who have no godly love to share.
- attend church to worship God and seek opportunities to connect with others. Church was never intended to simply ‘feel good’; its primary purpose is to draw one closer to Jesus Christ, and sometimes that process can feel uncomfortable.
- stand up for what they believe in, even if they stand alone. Love speaks truth, even when it’s not easy to do so.
A Principled-Based Life In Action
Living a principle-based life is not for the faint of heart. It necessitates standing out from the world in seemingly strange and unusual ways.
Living a principle-based life includes:
- trusting God more than man
- speaking up for truth when the majority is silent
- taking responsibility for one’s choices, regardless of the consequences
- receiving and acting upon daily personal revelation
- replacing old traditions with Christ-centered ones
- avoiding pornography like the plague
- seeking good and abhoring evil, in all things
- praying for your enemies–those who are actively seeking to harm you
- being filled with faith, hope, and charity
- being honest in all your doings
- putting principles over profits; it is putting principles before feelings
- bringing your children up in truth
- walking in humility and saying “I’m sorry”
- extending forgiveness; it is setting healthy boundaries
- wearing one’s self out in the service of God
- being filled with inner peace
- relying on the Atonement of Jesus Christ each and every day
- learning to be comfortable with standing alone
- protecting children at all costs
- being generous with your money
- keeping the Sabbath Day holy
- expressing gratitude
- working hard
- having a love for lifelong learning; it is being teachable
- coming up short today, and trying again tomorrow; it is never giving up
- strengthening the traditional family
- praying to God and meditating on His word daily
- treating the body as a temple, despite popular trends to do otherwise
- seeking out friends who make good choices, and separating one’s self from those who don’t
- normalizing with your children conversations about God, identity, sex, drugs, alcohol, vaping, abortion, and abuse
- engaging in political causes
- learning from history
- seeking connection in place of isolation
- choosing to feel joy
- reading only the best of books
- creating things of beauty, and spending time in nature
- stepping outside one’s comfort zone
- being a positive role model for others to follow
- putting down the phones and turning off the TV and sitting around the dinner table with your family every night
Called to Live a Principle-Based Life
Society will tell you that, in today’s culture, it is not possible to live a principle-based life.
I’m here to tell you it is.
Not only is being different possible, it’s what we are called to do.
No one is perfect at living a principle-based life, but there are an increasing number of families and individuals who are striving to do so—families and individuals who are discovering for themselves the extraordinary blessings that are available to those who make such efforts.
No, living a principle-based life is not for the faint of heart. It is for those who have given their heart to God.
Inspirational Resources
Conclusion
True peace, joy, love, and intimacy can only be had by those who fill their lives with action-packed, principle-based love for God and others.
Love is not an emotion. It is not indefinable. It is not something you fall in, the poets and songwriters notwithstanding.
Jesus did not command us to feel good about our neighbors or our enemies. He commanded something infinitely harder. He told us to love them, to do for them what was God’s best for them, whether we felt like it or not.
Paul deParrie, Romanced To Death
