Constant Influence of the Holy Ghost: Hard Lesson Learned

With shopping list in hand, I was on my way. My favorite craft store was having a 50-75% off sale, and I was in need of a few items for an upcoming craft event before the sale coupons expired later that night. A mile down the road, a feeling hit me with great force. It was the soft voice of the Spirit⎯The Holy Ghost. “Turn around and go home.”

I frowned.

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Constant Influence of the Holy Ghost

Questions

“Why would I need to go home?” I questioned, trying to get to the bottom of this feeling, as I really needed to make it to the store, and now was an ideal time to go.

“My children are being taken care of so there is nothing to worry about, right?” I reasoned.

The feeling persisted.

“Perhaps I’m just feeling paranoid,” I thought, feeling hopeful. I really did not want to turn around and go home without having a solid reason to do so.

Still, the feeling remained.

“Is it danger? Are you warning me of danger that lies ahead?” The conversation taking place in my head was beginning to make me uncomfortable.

I shifted in my seat.

“If I don’t turn around, will I get into a car accident, or hit a jay walker, or something of that nature?” I slowed down at the sight of a jay walker crossing the road in front of me and used the opportunity to change my tactics.

“What if I’m extra careful? I’ll drive to the store and then back home without any incident. Everything will be fine, just watch!”

I paused. “If that is an okay plan,” I continued, “replace this deep impression to go home with a feeling of peace.”

I began singing a hymn.

It worked.

The impression to go home faded and I was left with a feeling of peace. With a sigh of relief, I continued to the store, grateful for the assurance that no danger loomed ahead.

Driving home I felt uncomfortable, for I knew that I had received an unmistakable impression to turn around and go home, and I had willfully ignored it. I knew it, and I knew that God knew it.

Sorrow

I recalled a recent prayer where I, on bended knee, asked that I might have the Spirit to be with me always. Then I recalled the words I wrote in my journal the previous Sunday: “The ways in which the Spirit blesses my life are immeasurable. It is my greatest desire to have the Spirit with me at all times.”

I felt to weep in sorrow! What had I just done? What had caused me to not heed the strong spiritual impression I had felt?

“Well, what’s done is done,” I thought, in an attempt to comfort myself. “Perhaps I’ll never know the reason why I was prompted to turn around and life will continue on as normal.”

I returned to my daily tasks, but the sense of sorrow never left me. “Will I be less sensitive to the impressions of the Spirit now that I willfully ignored a prompting?” I wondered. The thought worried me.

Several hours later, I received a startling email. The event in which I had planned to participate, the one that took me to the store earlier that day, the one that had caused me so much emotional distress, had been cancelled.

“Oh ye of little faith,” I thought to myself, as tears welled up in my eyes. I could have saved some money if I had just listened to the promptings of the Spirit. I thought of my recent prayerful plea to have the Spirit as my constant companion, as a guide, to bless me in all areas of my life, and realized in that moment that that was exactly what the Spirit had been trying to do⎯guide me. Not protect me or teach me, but guide me in a seemingly insignificant detail of my life.

Conclusion

I had a difficult time sleeping that night. “How could I have been so foolish?” I wondered. “And all over a silly trip to the store.”

My mind turned to the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and to a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who love us no less for the mistakes we make.

Suddenly, a refrain I often share with my children came to mind: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which allows us to do just that.

“Forgive me,” I whispered into the darkness. “I truly do want the Spirit as my constant guide; I desire the constant influence of the Holy Ghost.”

And this time I really meant it.

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